A Zillion Buttery Chardonnays: British Woman Tastefully Crushes A Full Bottle Right In Dana's Bitch-Ass Face

Dont tell me about the little beers you are crushing, you uncultured swine (JK. Love beers). Suck down a full bottle of 12.5 percent abv chardonnay on a casual coronavirus Saturday night. I'll be impressed then. 2 barley pops don't get the brain spinning like a bottle of wine in 30 seconds. Plus, when I crush wine, I feel sexy and ready to kiss! My romance meter goes through the roof and I'm ready to put the moves on my wife. She fucking loves too. "Dance, you sexy red-bearded fuck" she screams while I shake my ass to the fucking floor. Im grinding my dick all the way to the dirt and she's loving every minute. I say, "Ok Google, play something I can spin this wiener to." Next thing I know, this begins to play and I start spinning that wiener as promised. 

But, if I'm gonna be totally fair, which I am, I could have gone for British Bethany taking that empty bottle, lightly tapping it on her noggin, and then looking directly into the camera and softly saying with her beautiful British draw, "Yuggin. Yuggin grapes like a yule time ape."

If she did that, we'd print the shirts and have another movement goin. Maybe next time. That ain't her first bottle of 2013 varietals and it certainly won't be her last. Class and sass. Love it.